As anyone with anxiety knows, it feels impossible to overcome, because when it’s bad it consumes you. And the one thing I think many people don’t realise, is that although you might not be having a panic attack, your anxiety can still be taking full control of your mind! And when this happens regularly it feels like a never-ending battle, that you’re going to lose… But the thing I try to remember now is that I might not be able to make it go away entirely, but I can sure as hell find ways to gently push myself to not give into it. So on days when it’s trying to control me, I can make it pipe down a bit so I can go about my day without laying in bed, avoiding everyone, and everything.
Fun fact, on the day these photos were taken I told myself that I needed to put myself and my work out there more, you see I want to be a journalist, yet ever since I was at school the idea of people I know reading my work brought a horrible feeling to my stomach. But instead of stopping myself doing what I wanted, I got up, got ready and went out to take photos to use in blog posts, so I could do some writing, create content and actually post it for people to read.
And having that confidence in myself has been my first step to kicking anxieties butt!
Now actually sharing my work on my personal social media accounts is a whole other playing field! And you might be reading this thinking it’s so stupid for me to worry about that because I know the people I surround myself with are unbelievably supportive. But it’s a big step for me to share anything that can in some way make me feel vulnerable! However I guess being a journalist requires people reading your work… so I suppose I better get used to it right? And I must admit, after sharing it I felt so, so much better and it’s now made me a lot less anxious, to talk about it in person too.
So sharing and being vulnerable with my work is my next step to controlling my anxiety, instead of letting it control me.
And lastly, I’ve been finding reading self-help books unbelievably helpful. And I’ll admit, I was the first to be sceptical about what they can really do! But I got so fed up with my lack of confidence and always comparing myself and not speaking up or doing what I need to do for me, that I decided to pick up ‘You Do You’ by Sarah Knight. And this has made the world of difference, not only is her writing sarcastic and humorous but it’s not too serious, it doesn’t use all these technical terms to try to explain ‘what’s wrong with you’ but instead just encourages you to go for what you want. I’ve had the biggest boost in self-confidence that i’ve ever experienced and it’s the first time I haven’t been an anxious and nervous wreck about putting myself out there!
Because at the end of the day, whats the worst that can happen when you’re doing what makes you happy?