A Fear of Success & Trying to be Successful

Mental Health, University

I’ve been having a lot of  thoughts recently about being ‘successful’ and although i’ve spoken to people about them, I now think I need to do what’s best for me, write it all down! I apologise in advance for how ‘wordy’ this will be, but I hope some of you who relate, can seek comfort in knowing you’re not the only one having thoughts like this.

So recently my mum and I have been going on walks every evening (all photos in this post are from those walks in case you were wondering what they had to do with this post haha), and it’s lovely because it gives us time to catch up and chat about all sorts of things, plus nature helps me to think in general! One thought I was telling her, is my fear of the future and wanting to know exactly what’s going to happen, out of worry of failure and sadness. You see, i’ve always had this issue with trying really hard, but giving up because I focus on my idea of the ‘perfect result’. And usually it’s always about numbers, the number of followers, likes, the number on a scale and on the back of my jeans… And it’s not healthy, all it does is cause me to beat myself up about not being ‘successful’ enough. Which I don’t think i’m alone in feeling this, it’s quite a prominent issue these days! But no matter how many times I try to remind myself that success won’t come without determination, hard work, and a positive mindset, I just can’t help but creep back in to bad habits!

(Also you’ll notice I keep putting quotations around the word ‘successful’, because everyone has their own opinion and definition of success, and I don’t want to write as if my opinion is the only one and the correct one, because it certainly is not.)

However, as well as being worried of fear of trying and failing, i’ve recently been worrying about becoming ‘too successful’… Which is so stupid, I know! But you see, I want to be a journalist and i’m currently getting a degree in that field, and my dream is to be my own business one day, my own brand. However that scares me, because what happens if I put myself out there, work hard, get what I want, and then it doesn’t end up being what I had planned?

But all i’m doing here is just placing more of my own barriers in front of me, because i’m telling myself i’ll either work hard and give up because i’m not becoming ‘successful’ enough in my set time frame… Or i’m worried i’ll stay positive and keep working hard and then it won’t actually be what I wanted! Its self sabotage really… And these thoughts have been going round and round in my head for far too long. I’m really trying to silence them, because I do truly believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is a path we are all destined to go down in life, for one reason or another. So i’m trying to be relaxed and calm about it and just carry on working hard, stay determined and go down this path but I keep halting my journey… I keep stopping when I become scared or stressed or let these thoughts takeover.

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And the real shame is that all of my family, friends and my boyfriend believe in me so much. They all see something in me that I unfortunately can’t always see in myself, and it sucks that I don’t have that same belief and love for myself that they carry for me. I am honestly getting a lot better at self-love and belief, but it’s also difficult… because everything is based on numbers these days, and I think it has such an effect on us all, because everything becomes a competition due to it!

However on a more positive note, in saying all of this, I am really enjoying what i’m doing. I’ve finally reached a point where I don’t care what people think of me anymore, and that has already removed one of my barriers. And because of this I have noticed improvements in the way I feel about myself, but it all takes work. However i’m going to vow to stay positive, patient, and carry on working hard even when I feel defeated! Because everything that is meant to happen and come to you, will.

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I know this was quite a long and personal post but I hope you still enjoyed reading it! And I would LOVE to know your thoughts on this topic and whether any of you have ever had similar thoughts and opinions like me. Let’s chat about it:)

Maisie

13 thoughts on “A Fear of Success & Trying to be Successful

  1. I totally get you girl. I have been (and still am) in almoust the same situation but let me tell you a few things I learned. (I’ll try to keep it short and simple because I could write for days about those things.)
    Kindness changes everything, be grateful – always, and last but not least. Patience, patience, patience.
    From what I red, you have what it takes; just do what you love. You will grow and you will get there. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, I can relate so much.. How sad is it that often we are our own biggest barriers? 😩 I do often feel that yes, it is out of fear.. even fear of our own potential, strangely enough. We know that we’re infinitely powerful, but everything else seems to point to us being ordinary and not enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know exactly! But I think although it can be difficult to change our thoughts on this, we have to keep working hard to… Because we all deserve to know how successful we can be when we have faith in ourselves:)

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  3. I have been feeling the same too. Especially about numbers in terms of weight and numbers from my blog stats!
    I keep telling my boyfriend that even after i get skinny, I might still not like myself a lot. So I have to start working on self love rather than losing weight.
    Also with blog stats, it’s just a process. I know exactly what I need to do to increase them, but seeing them sometimes is so stressful, but i always focus on checking them.
    I hope we can get better at being excited and happy for our successes instead of stopping ourselves!!
    I’m trying my best to not be so negative about these two things, it’s what’s bothering me the most these days ha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, self love is so important! Because no matter how many times others tell you how wonderful you are, if you don’t see it or feel it in yourself then their words will never seem true! I completely understand how you’re feeling and I am always here to help 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This was such a beautiful post ❤️ You wrote and described it perfectly! I also feel that way and can relate to your words 💯. You are going to achieve your dreams. I believe in you. I remember so many times that people believe in me but sometimes I still feel it hard to believe in myself. We will get there. I don’t like the world we live in that everything is based on numbers and competition. It’s nice to be successful but it’s also important to not always compare ourselves to others. This will only make us feel sad. We are all on our way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I know you will achieve your dreams too and yes it can be so difficult to not feel down when you can see other peoples success vs yours and then the whole comparing yourself gets so much worse! But we have to stay positive and keep working hard, we’ll all achieve what we want when we’re so much more positive about the journey 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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