I’ve been having a lot of thoughts recently about being ‘successful’ and although i’ve spoken to people about them, I now think I need to do what’s best for me, write it all down! I apologise in advance for how ‘wordy’ this will be, but I hope some of you who relate, can seek comfort in knowing you’re not the only one having thoughts like this.
As anyone with anxiety knows, it feels impossible to overcome, because when it’s bad it consumes you. And the one thing I think many people don’t realise, is that although you might not be having a panic attack, your anxiety can still be taking full control of your mind! And when this happens regularly it feels like a never-ending battle, that you’re going to lose… But the thing I try to remember now is that I might not be able to make it go away entirely, but I can sure as hell find ways to gently push myself to not give into it. So on days when it’s trying to control me, I can make it pipe down a bit so I can go about my day without laying in bed, avoiding everyone, and everything.
So as it’s mental health awareness week I want to talk a little bit about my experience with anxiety.
I was the kid at school panicking about my work, always feeling like I wasn’t clever enough and the worst of all, comparing myself to others. I distinctly remember performing on stage at my school prize giving when I was younger and once the evening was finished my Mum told me I needed to have more faith in myself because I just watched and copied the other dancers. Even though I knew it off by heart and my mum had seen me practice, I just felt like the others were better, that they knew it better.